There is (at the time of writing this post) 6 billion people on the planet. And the population is just getting bigger and bigger every second. Sadly, unlike a computer program, life doesn’t scale itself to accomodate scaling of people. The biggest example of this is traffic jams. The infrastructure stayed the same, but more people have been added to the system. Nothing happens to the infrastructure, the effect is only on the people. The road on which the traffic jam occurs doesn’t change one bit. But the people undergo stress, lose time and peace of mind thanks to that traffic jam.
There’s another scenario where having more people around trying to compete for the same thing as you works against everyone - comparison.
When I was in school, I used to appear in one of the top three positions in my class consistently. But my folks weren’t ever satisfied (or if they were they made sure not to show it) and instead they motivated me by comparing me to people who’d have done better. I came in First Rank only once - in 3rd grade, and even then they didn’t give me the praise I hungered for. Later they told me it was thier way of good parenting, because that way I wouldn’t let constant praise get to my head and become arrogant. Fair enough.
But one of the things they said stuck with me throughout - “Do not compare yourself to those you are better than. Compare yourself to those who are better than you”. Valid logic - that’s how one improves in a world where grades in predefined syllabus is everything and competition results defines your future. You get complacent if you compare yourself to those you are better than, and stop improving. But you also never feel satisfied with yourself, because there is always someone better than you who you can compare yourself.
I think what I will teach my child (when I have one) is “Do not compare yourself to others”. This way he/she works to better himself/herself.
But competition can be good for you, because it pushes you to succeed and grow. I myself have benefitted from that concept in school - and I was satisfied immensly with the efforts I made, even if I came in second place - just because of the marvelous growth in character and discipline that happened. So competition can be a good thing - and competition’s automatically implies comparison. And without comparison, would we be able to function? There wouldn’t be something called “quality”. So, I have to revert back to my dad’s version. But I must add a disclaimer that ensures he knows where to stop with the comparisons too.
So it becomes “Do not compare to those worse than you. Compare yourself only to those better than you. But compare yourself only to learn how to better yourself - not to look down on yourself or others“
Comparing yourself to people can become a virus. It damages your self-esteem and provokes the ego to defend itself. You develop insecurities about things you are not good at, or do not have. This is obviously not a great way to live, and it’s hard to break out of that pattern.
How does one break out of it? By trying to replace a competitive attitude with an abundance attitude.
Instead of trying to justify a lack of something within you, or an advantage someone else has - try and imagine that instead of competing with that person, you wish well for them and want them to have everything - just like you. If they have succeeded more than you, then it is a good thing. I know it’s hard at first to think like that, but with practice it probably can be achieved.
Suppose someone is rich because of a company thier parents left to them, and you are struggling to send money back to your parents - or they have had flings all thier youth and now have a beautiful marraige, while you’ve been single throughout - just think “good for them” sincerely and end it there. Thier success does NOT magnify your failure - if what you were was a “failure”in the first place. Your success at something where they have not succeeded does not imply a complensation or your “win”. You getting what you want is not related to whether they have it or not, and since when they’ve had it.
Try to think instead, that you live in a world where everyone should and can be happy and get what they want - even if they already do and you don’t. Be positive enough to believe truly that you and everyone deserve to have everything, and they just got some things earlier - but you will get yours soon. And that is where the other people cease to exist in your equation and you focus on manifesting that into your life.
Being grateful about the things you do have, without thinking if other people have that thing to be grateful for or not, is also a way to help overcoming the negativity that stems from comparison. Your statements of gratitude shouldn’t, for example, even start with “Sure, I”m not as rich…but…” but it must certainly have “I’m still grateful I have my health”. Comparison that way, can be bad for the Law of attraction and manifesting good things in your life.
